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A Bit of History

Four years ago, I hit a turning point in my life. Something occurred that changed my life forever… and changed it for the better. I had been divorced for 2 years, and I was going to Hawaii with my girlfriend’s for my 30ieth birthday! My dad funded a trip for us all to have some much needed girl time. He arranged for us to stay at one of the most gorgeous hotels, and we had the privilege of staying there for two solid weeks. It was nothing but cute men, fun in the sun, and yummy drinks on the beach. Little did I know that I was going to fall in love. Okay, we’ll get back to that subject, don’t worry!

The first day we were there, we were checking into the hotel when I caught eye with one of the most gorgeous middle-aged men I have ever seen. In my life. He winked at me, and I flashed my pearly whites and giggled. I felt like a little girl all over again. We talked with the concierge, and joked around, and made our way to our room. When we got up to our room, we unpacked and drooled over all of the incredible amenities in our hotel room. We made our way down to the resort pool and beach in our cute bikinis, feeling like a million bucks! There were 3 guys sitting across the pool from us, clearly talking about us, and one of them happened to be the adorable man I saw in the lobby earlier that day. It felt like high school all over again… I’m telling ya!

We laid out in the sun for quite awhile, until they came over and used some lame pickup line to invite us to dinner, and also asked if they could lather us up with tanning oil. I told them to cut the shit and asked if I could buy them a drink or two. I’m feisty and sassy, you betcha! We laid out and chatted for a few more hours, and then split to go get ready to meet for dinner later that night. LuLu, Steph, and I were totally flattered to be invited out by some randoms in Hawaii, but we were also a bit alarmed. They seemed like sweet guys, but was it too good to be true? Well. We shall see. We might as well take a shot! We’ve got nothing to lose, right? At least that’s the way I looked at it. We met in the lobby at 8 PM, and went to dinner at one of the most fabulous seafood restaurants. It was a night to remember for sure. Conversation, drinks, and dinner lasted for about 3 hours. By that time, Steph, and LuLu were wasted and I took them back up to the room, and then parted and went for a walk on the beach with one of the guys, Brett. We really hit it off and had an unbelievable connection! We spent one week dancing around this little romance, and we had our fun. He and his buddies were leaving, and I still had a week left. It was awesome!

It was when he left that I figured out that I had really, really, really fallen for this guy. It had been the first “real” connection since my divorce, and I wasn’t going to pass it up. Luckily, I kept his number. We texted back and forth for awhile, and by the time I flew home I asked him if he wanted to reconnect. He told me he was coming to Denver for business in a couple weeks, so I figured that would be a wonderful chance to see if what we had was really real! His trip came and went faster than anything in my life. Once he had left, things were really off. I was feeling really weird, and it hit me. I thought I had the stomach flu but I discovered it… I was p-r-e-g-n-a-n-t. Fuck. What was a girl supposed to do? I was freaked out of my mind. So, I pee’d on the expensive little stick and it indeed came back positive. I pondered the idea for awhile and came to the conclusion that it couldn’t be all that bad. God has a plan for me, and He is just unfolding it. All I need to do is stand in awe at how beautiful it continues to be. Maybe this was His way of giving me the child I’ve always wanted… thinking that it could be my last shot at ever being a mother. Well, I took the signs and symbols and went on with my pregnancy.

Little did I know, Brett turned out to be married. He was separated but nonetheless, he was married. He had two small children at home, and there was no way he’d ever permanently leave and I wasn’t able to make that decision for him. I never told him I was pregnant. Never, ever dreamt of telling him. I think the last thing a married woman wants is to receive a call from her husband’s intimate encounter explaining that she is carrying his child. Heh! Wouldn’t that be an awesome thing to hear?! So I opted out of breaking her heart, and I decided to keep Blake a secret. 9 months later I gave birth to the most angelic and beautiful thing I have ever laid eyes on. When Blake was 6 months old, I ran into Brett. Apparently he was in town on business AGAIN and we ran into each other at a local restaurant, and thank God, Blake wasn’t with me. After that incident, he would not stop calling me, texting me, or e-mailing me. He was beginning to become a nuisance. I stuck with my gut and continued to ignore all contact from him, and keep him out of my life. He came in once and fucked it up and I wasn’t about to let him come in again and mess it up more. He made his bed and now he gets to lay in it. End of story. Merely three months later, the bastard showed up on my freakin’ doorstep. Yeah, you heard me. He showed up unannounced. Those of you that know me, know that I don’t like people showing up to my house unannounced — and especially if I don’t want anything to do with you. I answered the door not knowing it was him, Blake on my hip… and on the phone. What can I say. I swear to God I almost fainted when I saw him on my front porch. I told my Dad I had to call him back, and I had a screaming match with Brett. He was still fucking married. Really dude? What the hell are you thinking when you pull stunts like this? Do you think I want you in my life? No, no, and NO! He asked how old my son was. I told him 10 months. He put two and two together, and assumed that Blake was his child. Yup, he is your son, I told him. He questioned why I never called to let him know and I told him my reasoning. Did he really think his wife would like to receive that phone call? Nope, didn’t think so. Dumbshit.

I told him to leave. I told him I wanted nothing to do with him, and that if he didn’t respect my wishes I’d call the police and have him removed… and I’d enact a restraining order while I was at it. The next week I was scheduled to go to Texas to see my older sister, and of course I was bringing Blake. Steph was staying at my house taking care of things, and apparently Brett showed up A.G.A.I.N. Oh my God. He is nuts. He showed up 2 hours before I was going to get home, and Steph made the mistake of telling him that. He waited until I pulled into my driveway, and told me he missed me and wanted me back. That he was finally getting divorced and he wanted to make things right. In a sense, I told him to go pound sand. I wanted to raise my son in a healthy household, and instill values and morals in him. I did not want this moron in my life. He is a complete and utter idiot for what he has done, and I could never forgive him for humiliating me like he did.

So, he was gone. Gone for good. At least that’s what I thought. On Blake’s first birthday, I took him to California to celebrate. Mainly, it was an excuse to go see my long lost friends Patti, and Wesley. They wanted to meet my son, and I was so excited to reconnect with my old college girlfriend. They live in the picturesque area of Palos Verdes, which means we spent most of our time in Manhattan Beach, and eating at local restaurants in the area. Patti’s Mom said she’d watch Blake so that Patti and I could grab a drink and have some one on one adult girl talk. It was incredible. We went to Shark’s Cove in Manhattan Beach to watch the UCLA Basketball game and talk. We were sitting at the bar, when a man approached us. He was drop-dead gorgeous. Tall, dark, and handsome… he asked if the seats were taken and I told him they weren’t. Lovely, another out-of-state man hitting on me! What is with the out-of-towners? LOL!

As Patti and I were leaving, he asked for my number. We exchanged names, and he told me he was divorced with two kids, blah, blah, blah. Little did I know that he’d call me as I was walking out just so I’d have his number! Ah, how cute. Blake and I had the most incredible time in Los Angeles, and we were scheduled to leave the next day around lunch time. As I was walking through security, I ran into this man, Chris again. How weird, right? He was going to Denver to see a buddy, and I was going home to Denver. We were even on the same flight. Silly. We had great conversation while waiting to board, and even when we got off and were waiting for our bags. He told me he’d give me a call and if I was interested he’d love to go out while he was in town. Of course I was interested! So we went out, totally hit it off, and decided we wanted to see each other again. He told me that if I was ever in LA again to give him a call if I needed somewhere to stay. Wow. We had an on-going phone relationship for about 2 months when I decided I wanted him in my life. For good. I wanted to date him and see how things went. So, we would visit each other every weekend and alternate who went to see who. It was amazing! I totally fell in love with him. Gosh, I sound like a broken record. Falling in love with Brett from Hawaii, and now falling in love with Chris in California. The only difference is this — Chris had his head on straight, and Brett wasn’t even close.

We dated for a year, and he proposed. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with me but wasn’t willing to move to Colorado. Well isn’t that just dandy. My entire family, and life are here in Colorado, and I didn’t ever have the intention of moving… so this hit me by surprise and I told him no. I told him I’d love to continue this love affair but it just simply wouldn’t work, which was really hard for me to accept. Chris and I still remain super close, and we understand each other and connect with one another like crazy. It is insane how we get each other and read each other like we do. I am hoping that one day, at the right time, he will realize how much we mean to one another, and we will figure something out… until then, I’m just enjoying myself, and my son.

Oh, and for the record… Brett is in fact back in my life. But only as far as our son goes. I want my son to have a father-figure but I don’t want Brett in our lives permanently. He sees Blake 36 hours a week, and sometimes less… depending on where his priorities are that week.

I thank the heavens above every single day for all of the incredible moments in my life, and for the amazing people God has put into my life.  I couldn’t be more blessed!

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