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My Opinion of My Readers: I don’t know how to say it, so just read the damn post.

September 21, 2009

From time to time, most bloggers write something about how wonderful their readers are. They are awesome. The best! Every blogger seems to have the best readers.

I realize I am long amiss in writing about my readers so here it goes.

My readers are stupid.

The stupidest.

You think I’m not talking to you. That I’m talking to the other readers?

No. I’m talking to you. You’re stupid.

You’re waiting for the joke, aren’t you? Waiting for Grace to pull the funny bunny out of her hat. I hate to disappoint you but there is no funny bunny up my ass. I’m serious.

Stupid.

Are you ticked off yet? Offended? Hurt that I called you stupid?

I hope you are. I want you to stop and realize I’m seriously calling you stupid. I want you to feel it. Take it in.

Stupid, that’s you.

How does that feel?.

When I picked the boys up from school Friday, Parker (my nephew for those of you that don’t know) came out first. Usually he runs to me, I hold out my arms and we give each other a big hug and kiss after being apart for 7 hours. Friday was different. I knew right away something was wrong. I could tell from the look on Parker’s face he was upset.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

“I got to tell you something, GG. Something really, really bad happened in the bathroom today.”

“What happened?” Horrors! Bathroom! Exposed tallywhackers! Someone *gasp* touched him inappropriately!

“Well I was in there and some big kid with peach skin and blonde hair with spikes came in and told me my brother was stupid. And I asked him what my brother’s name was and he said ‘Payton!’ and he said that Payton screamed like a girl and then that boy screamed in my face.”

“What happened after that?”

“Nothing. I didn’t know what to say.”

You say, “fuck you” or “kiss my ass, motherfucker” or “he may be stupid but you’re ugly and at least my brother can LEARN!” Or you just kick them in the nuts.

“Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry that happened. That was really mean. But we know Payton isn’t stupid, don’t we?”

“Yeah, he’s not stupid!”

“No, he’s just the opposite.”

“Yeah, he’s really smart!”

“So since we know Payton is very smart, what does that make someone who calls him stupid?”

“They’re the stupid ones!”

“Yeah! And we’re not going to pay any attention to what stupid people say.”

Did I handle that right? I’m not sure because, as usual, it was by the seat of my pants. Even though I’ve been faced with Payton being teased, taunted, and bullied for three years now, I still have that moment of shock when I first find out about an incident and don’t know the right thing to do in the moment. I sort of open my mouth and stuff just comes out. It’s my auntie/mommy instinct.

My heart and mind simply can’t comprehend, absolutely cannot grasp in that split second moment that people, kids, for fuck’s sake, are attacking the little people I love the most!

And I don’t like teaching my nephews to think of others as stupid. Gesh, I have taught all the boys to call others peach and brown instead of black and white. I don’t want them thinking of others as stupid.

But, oh my fucking god. Some 3rd grader came into the bathroom and said that to my little first grader. Parker was singled out because he’s Payton’s brother.

My blood boils. My heart cracks.

What the fuck is wrong with the kids at this school? This school that is the “best” in the district, is surrounded by high-end neighborhoods full of college-educated, white-collar workers; doctors, lawyers, pilots, therapists, computer engineers.

Obviously the asshat gene doesn’t respect socio-economic boundaries. People, this kind of crap happens at even the “best” schools, though quite honestly, I’m not convinced how they are defining “best” really means “best.”

Of course, Parker told Payton what happened and certainly, he got upset. His blood boiled too. But I guess I handled it the right way, because they appeared to get over it pretty quickly and went on to have a perfectly happy weekend.

But for me the cloud has hung with me all weekend. I haven’t shaken it off yet.

My babies, how I want to protect you.

Behind every cloud is the sun. We’ll see it again.

This should go without saying, but I’ll say it anyway. Of course I do NOT think my readers are stupid. Pshaw! Birds of a feather and all of that, meaning you’re the most brilliant readers out there. I called you stupid in the beginning of the post because I think we grown-ups brush aside the pain of words like “stupid” and “dumdum” or “ugly.” I almost did, because, come on, it’s just “stupid” and we grown ups have dealt with worse. But I think we to need to give more empathy to kids being called these lesser names. Honestly, they’re using the ugliest names they can get away with at their age, only adults can get away with uglier ones.

And while I’m at it, thank you, dear reader, for all your wonderful support. And for never being stupid.

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