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Weird Thing of the Week

April 23, 2009

As things go, this is my life people. Welcome to a glimpse of it.

Now if you read my blog with any regularity, you know that I have quite a hard time containing my laughter when someone, hell anyone, falls in my general vicinity.

While out to dinner recently, I was quite charmed by this particular restaurant that had a floor that was partially clear so you could see the wine cellar beneath where you were standing. And if you were extra super lucky, you could actually see people beneath where you are standing, looking for specific bottles of wine.

While waiting for our table, we did order drinks from the bar. I had my normal, a martini of some type. I had not, at this point, noticed the clear floor but when we were finally seated, the moment came to actually walk ON the floor. I stopped, ooooo’ed and awwwwww’ed a bit, finding it quite unusual and very just, fun to see. I actually was turning circles around, looking down, holding my martini, just staring at the floor. (Yes, things easily amuse me.) What I didn’t notice however, was that I was spilling my martini everywhere. Not a ton, but enough to leave vodka all over the clear floor anyway. My escort commented to me that I was abusing my martini by spilling more than I was drinking. Point taken, and I stopped oooo’ing and awwwwww’ing and walked to our table.

To my sheer happiness, we were seated at a booth that was directly in front of the clear floor.
Did I mention how easily amused I am?

Upon sitting at the table, we are given our menu’s when I look up to say something to my escort for the evening, and it happened. A waiter, with a full tray of drinks, was walking across the clear floor when he slipped. And … and … he slipped and was trying to right himself but let out this noise of … “Whoooaaa! Whooooooooa” as he was trying to balance himself. The man slipped … in my spilled vodka. In MY spilled vodka. He never did right himself, and he, the tray, the 8 drinks on the tray, all went down, in one large mess. There was ice, waiter, and drinks all over. My mouth opened in shock because you see, I realized, I realized he slipped and fell because of me.

And then it began. I started to laugh. And I don’t mean giggle, people. I was laughing so hard I had tears coming out of my eyes. I immediately grabbed my cloth napkin and put it over my face. I laughed into it until I could hardly breathe. While covering my face with the napkin, I heard another large PLOP. I peeked out of the napkin to see that the other waiter who came to help the original fallen waiter, had also fallen in the large mess of wetness on the floor. Now, there are two waiters, tangled up almost, trying to get up yet at the same time trying to help each other up, both slipping on the clear, wet floor.

It was too much. TOO MUCH. I immediately again started to laugh, this time with big hiccups because I was obviously asphyxiating myself, and my escort was staring at me in horror. I tried to do the wave, like you know, the “Oh this is completely fine, just ignore me” wave. Let me point out that it did not work so well.

The moral of this story? Stay away from clear floors. Or at least don’t spill on them. Not when I’m around anyway.

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