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Picky Bitch.

April 23, 2009

Yep. That’s me.

Let it go on the record that I will not date:

-Stingy men. Do not ask me out and then not even offer to pay.
-Poor spellers.
-Sober people.
-Picky eaters.
-Douche bags.
-Liberals. Particularly of the socially liberal sort.*
-Tank top wearers.
-Teva wearers.
-Hyperactive emoticon users.
-Multiple-cat owners.
-Shitty music lovers.

In the past few weeks, I have been hit on by the following men (in person and online):

-A murse wearer.
-A man with musical interests that included Lincoln Park and ‘banging on pots and pans’ in his kitchen alone.
-A 30 year old with ’69’ in his online dating handle.
-A man offering me ‘wonderful adventures for my life.’ Although I wish I were a unicorn, I am in fact, not and therefore don’t know that wonderful adventures can be achieved. Unless you mean watching me work from home every evening on my couch in questionable pajamas. But like a unicorn, I do love me some glitter, which brings me to…
-A man with an aggressive amount of facial glitter.
-A man who wondered if I have ever been spoken dirtily to in bed. In German.
A man with a facial tattoo….of a tear. Yes.

*The guy that changes the TV to Fox News every night at the gym, then checks me out the entire time, that one is for you, baby.

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