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2nd Date with GG: Dinner Dancing Tripping, Strip Clubs, and a Stabbing.

April 23, 2009

My friend, Random Esquire wrote this. It is laugh-out-loud funny and I wanted to share it with you guys 🙂

Why in the world would anyone think that a night out with BlondeMomtourage would be anything less than adventurous?

1. If you ever have the good fortune to meet BlondeMomtourage, you should know something upfront. If you trip and fall down, she will laugh for 10 minutes before asking if you’re okay. Steph, her best friend, had warned me of this. And, unfortunately, Steph took a tumble while we were walking around that first night and true to her word, BMT burst out laughing and could not stop. And the truth is, it’s kind of infectious. Later that night, we saw a girl try to enter a cab and she completely biffed it, hitting the pavement and letting out a small cry as she fell. BMT burst out laughing no less than 10 feet away. And that caused everyone around to start laughing. It’s really quite a thing to see. Last night, while out dancing, a guy completely did a face plant on the dance floor and BMT almost came unglued because while she’d see the guy sprawled on the floor, she missed the actual fall. Nonetheless,…she laughed. heh.

And then I realized that I don’t remember the last time I saw someone trip and fall at all and yet, in under 48 hours with BMT, I saw three people biff it. WTF.

2. BlondeMomtourage and her friend Steph coaxed me into going to a strip club. We knew nothing about this place but we went. Adventure, right? We went and the guy behind the counter said that each person pays $30. For a room. Minimum tip was $5 or “your girl” won’t dance. And “everything” was $75. We backed out slowly.

3. We were hanging out in a bar at a table with a group of people we’d met earlier in the evening and someone finally asked the question…”How do you guys know each other?” BlondeMomtourage responded by telling them that I was her attorney. I then asked BlondeMomtourage if she’d called her parole officer before leaving the state. She said no. This garnered some quiet interest. At one point, BlondeMomtourage stepped away from the table and I leaned over to one of the guys and said, “You want to know what she did?” He nodded eagerly. I whispered, “Her husband cheated on her. So she stabbed him. But it didn’t kill him.”

I like that telling a complete lie about how BMT stabbed someone was preferable to bothering to explain the whole blogging connection.

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