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Distraught.

April 1, 2009

So, my time has finally come.  I officially told Chris that I no longer want to pursue our relationship.  Let me tell you that we spent 4 hours on the phone discussing this choice, and how it was going to impact our families, and ourselves… but, I was ready to move on and he respected that.  We’re 1000 miles away.  I’m not going to jump on a fucking bandwagon and come move in with him… I love where I am, and who I am around.  I do not want to move yet.

Prince Charming and I dated for almost 4 years.  I met him when I was 4 months pregnant, and he stuck by my side through the entire rest of my pregnancy.  He was my angel.  That is to say that he saw me in my worst state!  I was fat, bitchy, and hormonal… and he still loved me for who I was, not for who he wanted me to be. 

This is going to be a drastic change.  Not only for me, not only for him… but for our three sons.  Caden, Cavin, and Blake were like brothers.  Caden and Cavin were the first kids to ever hold Blake, and they considered him a little brother.  To me, that is the saddest part.  I have to let go of his kids.  I love them as if they are my own flesh and blood, and I cannot imagine my life without their hugs and kisses everytime they meet me in the airport. 

Life’s going to be crazy for the next few days as I adjust to this change.  I probably won’t be on here blogging, as I am a complete wreck.  I am heartbroken and sad.  I want to marry this man and have his children, but it just seems so fucking impossible.

Thanks for the support.  I love you guys!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. April 1, 2009 8:29 pm

    This blog’s great!! Thanks :).

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