Skip to content

I Just Don’t Get It!

March 12, 2009

I usually have more guy friends than I do girl friends. It’s always been that way. I like to drink at the bar. I like to be loud. I like to talk about sports and cars. I just get along with guys better. Nothing sexual about it, I’ve just always had best guy friends. So many things go along with having girl friends – the drama, the moodiness, the drama, the catty bullshit, drama. When it comes to drama I’m like a guy, I want it bottom lined, let me figure out why you’re freaking out, then I’ll get back with ya. Mostly I understand the guy mentality and I like their standards. Wha? Yeah. I “get” guys.

So, you would think my 17 year old nephew would be something I would understand. I’ll say it outloud right now – I do not get my 14 year old niece. But, recently, I don’t get my nephew either.

Here’s the thing about him: He’s a good kid. He has a good job. He has an overly kind heart. He sucks at school and somedays we’re just glad he functions. But, now he’s thrown me for a parenting loop. He likes setting shit on fire. Initially I thought it was a phase, oh, back when he was 10. And, honestly, when the housekeeper found 2 lighters in his bedroom, as a parent you would think GAH! DRUGS! but not with him. First of all, I would so know. And secondly, he is just not the type.

He likes to set shit on fire. Like his hand apparently. He came home from work the other evening and I had lit every single candle in the house with his lighter. So in he comes and I’m all ready for him. “See all these candles lit boy? Guess how I lit them!” After a million, I dunno’s, I pulled out his lighter.


So, whatcha doing with a lighter? Then he says the stupidest thing I’ve heard in 37 years (and I’ve heard some pretty stupid shit hanging out with guys), he says, “I put the flame in my palm and let it go.”

I almost had to excuse myself and go smoke a doob just to try and understand this. And, how handy – I had a lighter!

So he showed his mother and I what he was talking about. And, yep, there sat my 17 year old nephew putting flame in his hand then putting it out. The obvious question, WHY? Yeah. That’s what I don’t get. And there was no real explanation. So I decided he had too much time on his hands. He’s been doing all sorts of shitty chores to take up his extra time now.

But today! Oh, today. A new thing was handed to me from my housekeeper. A fully burned Xbox 360 controller that came along with the explanation, “That’s Ted’s.” Ted? Are there children namd Ted out there?

*I’M EDITING TO ADD THAT THIS IS A PARTY TRICK OF HIS. Thank you, but he doesn’t need psychiatric help. He’s not into self mutilation. Don’t make this a heavier topic than what it is. He is a very happy, well rounded kid – I should’ve made that clear. Thank you for your concern and all!! But read what Ninja Mom wrote – that’s my kid.*

No comments yet

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: