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The Bachelor Bastard

March 4, 2009
I LOVE my reality TV. That’s actually an understatement. I dream about shopping with Tim Gunn, cooking with Tom Colicchio and occasionally losing 30 pounds on the Survivor diet of grubs and rice. I’ve happily witnessed the whorish antics on 3 seasons of Rock of Love and thought I was inured to the nonsense and oft shocking behavior found in the species: Homo Realits Showis Sapiens.
…and… I was wrong.
The other night, on a very bloody special finale, Bachelor Jason Mesnick proposed to one Melissa Rycroft of Texas. A former Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader and future first grade teacher, Melissa fell head over heels for Seattle based Mesnick, and his young son, Ty. She accepted an engagement ring with the promise of being not only a wife, but also a stepmother. She was, “the happiest girl in the world” and he described himself as, “the happiest man in the universe.” Cue the violins, it’s getting all romantical on ABC.
Or, not so much.
Fast forward to the wrap up, “After the Final Rose” and The Happiest Guy in the Universe, dumps The Happiest Girl in the World. On national television. He’s, in fact, been spending time with Molly (the one he didn’t pick) and realizes she’s the one he loves.
Now, I believe that changing one’s mind is acceptable. Even after a big New Zealand proposal and the bestowing of a shiny network purchased diamond ring. I feel that some sad faces and hurt feelings are a small price to pay in the face of a sham marriage.
HOWEVER, this is beyond tacky. It’s common. Common as pig tracks and Molly, well, we couldn’t help but think, “sloppy seconds”.
Perhaps Jason and Molly will be very happy. Perhaps they too will last 15 minutes. Perhaps I am a little too overly invested in the lives of these dopes.
But Jason, last night, as a man, a father and a human… well, it’s a FAIL.

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