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Which Wiggle Would You Do?

November 12, 2008

While most of you are out enjoying adult contact of varying kinds, I am pondering life’s deep questions. Today I wonder what wiggle would I do?

For those of you (lucky you are) that are unfamiliar with the Wiggles, let me enlighten you this wonderful day. These four lucky Australian blokes have made a fortune wearing colored t-shirts (okay, mock turtlenecks) and polyester black pants while singing god-awfully ridiculous songs. I hate to even call them songs as the rhyming is TERRIBLE, the melodies simple and pathetic, and the dancing, well, it’s like a Jane Fonda video gone bad. Needless to say, kids LOVE them (including MINE), and they offer good, clean, educational fun at 9am CST every weekday on Playhouse Disney. Whoa – I’ve been watching it way too much. Note to self – Get Sex and the City DVDs immediately.

Anyhoo, the question remains – which one would I do? Let’s analyze, shall we? Oh and for all your avid watchers, Captain Feathersword is off limits. Let’s face it, I wouldn’t even think about it with a name like that (ehem). Perhaps if he was Captain Longstick or something – might help his cause.

Jeff — The small ethnic fellow in purple. He is always sleeping and is by far the worst dancer. A bit shrimpy and plays the accordian. Need I say more?

Greg — Not bad looking, although he sings out the side of his mouth and plays NO instruments. He’s a bit round in the gut area and personally, I think lead singers are highly overrated. NEXT!

Murray — Guitar playing Murray is a favorite among the ladies (just kidding, I have no clue). He’s kind of cute, but a little to nice and cheerful. Who wants that in bed?

Finally – my pick has to be (dadadadum)

ANTHONY — Side burns, check. Low voice, check. Good dancer but not better than me, check. I think we have a winner.

Now it’s your turn… Don’t be shy.

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